The road to happiness...

is paved with low expectations.

I recently received an email that got me thinking about a few things, so I wrote, among other things:

I apologize for my delayed response, but something you wrote got me thinking (uh oh): the idea of a "back-up plan". I think I know what you were referring to and I agree with the idea that it is unseemly, but then don't we rationalize our actions? I hope I don't sound like I am going off on a tangent, but the concept has actually been on my mind for a few days:

When people date, are they just sharing time together for mutual entertainment, preventing general boredom or moving toward a next step? The first two are easy, but what about that third? And, if that is the case, what is that next step or, for that matter, the ultimate step? And how do two people comfortably discuss any of it? For example, if one person is generally committement-minded (whatever that means) but the other is out for, say, physical encounters, is it good for both parties to know up front? And, even if both know up front, doesn't that put pressure on each participant? The next thought in all of this was: whomever wants less gets what they want. Whether it be a friendship, BF(boyfriend)/GF(girlfriend), husband/wife, boss/employee, etc. If one party, say GF, doesn't want the relationship, she gets what she wants [wins], but BF, who wants the relationship, loses.

I am the type who prefers to give something an undistracted chance to see if it would work or at least get to know the person. Sort of like ordering off a menu versus visiting a buffet: you get what you get; if you don't like it, you order something else next time; no back-ups ie return trips to the heated, steam table. But I am finding, apparently like you, that many want that insurance policy against being alone. So, in trying to not be alone, they don't get close to any individual and possibly end up MORE alone, eventually.

I have been on "the site" off (mostly) and on for about a year. The simple answer to "success" would be no, since I here currently. But I have met some interesting and some less-than-interesting people. Oh, here's another tangent/thought process: I have heard that sites, like this, work better for women than men. For example, on average, I would say that I get about three/four winks per day and about one email per day. This affords me the opportunity to pick and choose (but I still feel a bit badly because these are human beings and not just pixels on the screen!). But, if guys get much fewer or only a few responses, are they just taking what they can get? Personally, I would want to be wanted for ME, not just because no one else came along. (and if you are wondering how it is that I have the time to type all of this to you and if I write back to everyone, the answer is no; I respond to very few; you just asked the right questions! Plus, this, as I said, has been on my mind a lot lately. AND I type very fast.)

So, all that said, what DO I want? I am not speaking of anyone specifically, except for ME: I want my ultimate best friend, I want someone I can be stupid with, smart with, silly with, serious with; I want someone to know everything about me and still love me; I want to get that excited thrill when I see him (sorry ladies, I do have a preference for males); I want to feel like he wants me more than any other option that could present itself; I want open and free communication; I want someone to like my girly-girl side AND my independant, do-it-myself side; I want someone to do everything/nothing with; I want someone who I can sit next to and read a book or whom I can look at, wink, smile, then ravage him; I want someone to sit next to me in the car on long trips, whether he drives or I drive; I want someone to feel like he is such a lucky guy to have found me because, if he is that guy above, I am lucky that I found him too.

Wow, I am drained! That was about as sappy as I go (at least in a blog!).