The ant and the microwave

Before I start this story, let me relay that as I was coming in to work the pianist (we don't have a muzak, we have selection of live humans who play either a harp or the grand piano in the lobby) was playing "High Hopes". If you know the words to the song, you'll understand the humor.

Last night, I was out for a few hours. Upon arriving home, I was ravenous. I broiled (I don't have a toaster and don't want one) a few pieces of English raisin toasting bread. Instead of my usual SmartBalance, I opted for butter, but it was hard as I had just taken it from the fridge. I opened the microwave to soften it for about 10 seconds. Inside, was an ant. For the purpose of this story, I'll call him Nuke.

I wondered: "what would happen to Nuke if I go ahead and microwave my butter for 10 seconds?". Two buttons later and the test was ON. Open microwave door; ant is walking slightly erratic and butter isn't soft enough. Two buttons pressed again; I open the door and this insect is walking in circles and VIBRATING! (Sorry, buddy, you shouldn't have been in my microwave and caught me on a mean day)

So, Nuke hasn't exploded or stopped moving (where I would assume he is dead or napping), so I give it another 20 seconds (without the butter). I open the door to find that Nuke has made his way under the edge of the door and on his way out! Scary! No, not that I am frying insects in my small appliances but that there is enough space for an ant to get out. And if there is enough space for the ant to get out, there is enough space for micro (read "little tiny") waves to get out as well.

The moral of this story is: do NOT stand close to the microwave while it is on.

Oh, another moral: and don't get into Stacey's microwave or she may turn you into part of a freakish science experiment! (Bear in mind that I am more likely to catch a bee, spider, etc and put it outside, but ants in springtime are too prolific and I cannot keep up.)

So, what happened to Nuke? I watched him stumble around a little, buttered my bread and ate it while reading the local paper. I didn't squish him. I figure that he had had enough and deserved a break. I am nice like that. :)

The makeup doesn't match the hair

While at Reston Town Center, today, I made an observation: the mannequins and photos of women at Victoria's Secret sport JBF hair (I just heard the term recently and am humored) but their make-up is flawless. If you have "just been _______", and IF you did it right, your lipstick should be smudged. For that matter, if you REALLY did it well, all of your make-up has been rubbed off! I know that has been my experience more than once, most certainly recently.

Oh, and another observation: while fuzzy mules are cute in a photo op, they are probably not sensible in the bedroom (on kitchen counters, on picnic tables, or in a secluded meadow, for that matter!) Something with more traction would be more practical; perhaps cleats? Oh, I see a PhotoShop opportunity!

The road to happiness...

is paved with low expectations.

I recently received an email that got me thinking about a few things, so I wrote, among other things:

I apologize for my delayed response, but something you wrote got me thinking (uh oh): the idea of a "back-up plan". I think I know what you were referring to and I agree with the idea that it is unseemly, but then don't we rationalize our actions? I hope I don't sound like I am going off on a tangent, but the concept has actually been on my mind for a few days:

When people date, are they just sharing time together for mutual entertainment, preventing general boredom or moving toward a next step? The first two are easy, but what about that third? And, if that is the case, what is that next step or, for that matter, the ultimate step? And how do two people comfortably discuss any of it? For example, if one person is generally committement-minded (whatever that means) but the other is out for, say, physical encounters, is it good for both parties to know up front? And, even if both know up front, doesn't that put pressure on each participant? The next thought in all of this was: whomever wants less gets what they want. Whether it be a friendship, BF(boyfriend)/GF(girlfriend), husband/wife, boss/employee, etc. If one party, say GF, doesn't want the relationship, she gets what she wants [wins], but BF, who wants the relationship, loses.

I am the type who prefers to give something an undistracted chance to see if it would work or at least get to know the person. Sort of like ordering off a menu versus visiting a buffet: you get what you get; if you don't like it, you order something else next time; no back-ups ie return trips to the heated, steam table. But I am finding, apparently like you, that many want that insurance policy against being alone. So, in trying to not be alone, they don't get close to any individual and possibly end up MORE alone, eventually.

I have been on "the site" off (mostly) and on for about a year. The simple answer to "success" would be no, since I here currently. But I have met some interesting and some less-than-interesting people. Oh, here's another tangent/thought process: I have heard that sites, like this, work better for women than men. For example, on average, I would say that I get about three/four winks per day and about one email per day. This affords me the opportunity to pick and choose (but I still feel a bit badly because these are human beings and not just pixels on the screen!). But, if guys get much fewer or only a few responses, are they just taking what they can get? Personally, I would want to be wanted for ME, not just because no one else came along. (and if you are wondering how it is that I have the time to type all of this to you and if I write back to everyone, the answer is no; I respond to very few; you just asked the right questions! Plus, this, as I said, has been on my mind a lot lately. AND I type very fast.)

So, all that said, what DO I want? I am not speaking of anyone specifically, except for ME: I want my ultimate best friend, I want someone I can be stupid with, smart with, silly with, serious with; I want someone to know everything about me and still love me; I want to get that excited thrill when I see him (sorry ladies, I do have a preference for males); I want to feel like he wants me more than any other option that could present itself; I want open and free communication; I want someone to like my girly-girl side AND my independant, do-it-myself side; I want someone to do everything/nothing with; I want someone who I can sit next to and read a book or whom I can look at, wink, smile, then ravage him; I want someone to sit next to me in the car on long trips, whether he drives or I drive; I want someone to feel like he is such a lucky guy to have found me because, if he is that guy above, I am lucky that I found him too.

Wow, I am drained! That was about as sappy as I go (at least in a blog!).

$55 for three buttons???

...or $40 for two. Crazy? I think so. But these buttons have "Chanel" emblazened on them! Right? (Who cares!)

So, I am scanning ebay, looking for some great vintage Chanel jacket that looks oh so 1940s and I find these. The two pictured lower left are $80!! Not that I would ever buy any of these buttons, but I had to laugh at the prices.

Heck, what am I ranting about? The other day, I was telling Alex (who more than understands expensive tastes!) that I KNOW I have expensive tastes (she agrees and appreciates). I can scan a list of 100 photos of, say, shoes, and manage to LIKE the 10 most expensive, even if the prices aren't listed. The problem with this is that I am quite the bargain hunter. And therein lies the dilemma: how do I GET these fabulous, let's say, shoes, but for a great price? Some may get frustrated and give up, but I view it as a challenge. I am the woman who got a pair of $400 NEW Prada pumps for a mere $71 on ebay!

Now, the question is: how do I get this $499 (a bargain in itself, probably) Chanel blue silk dress for MUCH less? I'll let you know if it happens. What? I don't NEED another cocktail dress? Sure I do! Get the dress and the occassion will happen (with an extra trip to the gym per week!). Lord knows: I already have the shoes!

Right now, I am on an Anne Klein and Ann Taylor kick, so got the three pair, above (J is going to have a heart attack after his fit!).

I also picked up a pair of fun, red silk open toe pumps that remind me of 40s pin-ups (to whom I was recently compared-I am flattered!) I have no clue what I would wear with them. But my favorite find is a pair of tan suede D'orsay pumps by Kate Spade.

The fridge is in the middle of the kitchen

along with the stove...again. I can't wait to get this done!

I picked up the cork flooring today and started installation. Right now, it is 10:12 (2212 to some) so, I think it is a tad late to keep running the table saw; I'll give it a rest, for now.

The color I chose has warmer tones than the granite. But, if I get the clearcoat tinted slightly, I will be able to get them pretty close. Doesn't this cork look great with the granite?

I am going to have to build, from scratch, the flush floor register because you can only get them for 3/4" thick floors and this is only 1/2" thick. See? I really can't do anything the easy way; sometimes, easy just is not an option!

Cruelty-Free?

I appreciate companies who do not use animals to test cosmetics. Using mascara, lipstick or blusher is optional and a rabbit certainly doesn’t choose to use it! But, the other day, I picked up some moisturizing gloves and socks (you put lotion on your hands/feet, then put on the gloves/socks). The back of the packaging indicated that they are “cruelty-free”. I must say that I feel OH so much better knowing that they didn’t lube up some rabbits paws and make them wear cotton gloves to see if they had softer toes or if they reacted poorly to the 100% cotton. I just hope they meant that the COMPANY only uses cruelty-free methods of testing ALL of their products.

I have a better idea: cosmetic companies can use CEOs, accountants and public servants who, through deliberate misdeeds, bilk millions out of their companies/government agencies creating financial ruin or negative consequences for reasonable, trusting employees/citizens. Steal from Metro by pocketing parking fees? Here’s a little mascara in your eye! Use the company jet, expense hookers and hotel rooms, buy vacation houses and set up offshore accounts because you are greedy therefore screwing (pun intended) employees out of their retirement savings? Chew on this tube of lipstick (in addition to spending the rest of your life in prison) So what if you suffer from a hives outbreak. TOUGH! Those little rabbits and monkeys certainly didn’t do it.

About me, by others

A friend sent a questionnaire to be completed by those who know, or think they know, you. I sent it out and received a response by all but two. Here are the Qs and As:

1. Where did we meet?
My mom: At Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, Md . . .12.15. a few years ago
Mark: Trantech
Alex: In front of our houses
Kathy: AOL, but in person it was at Clark's
Ken: AOL party??

2. Take a stab at my middle name: (I’d like to point out the fact that my middle name is part of my email address, so this was an easy one!)
My mom: Grandmother Rogers wanted Laura after her mother, but it didn't fit with Stacey. So you got Lorraine after my step grandmother, a very sweet lady with a mind of her own and a passion for cooking
Mark: Lorraine
Alex: Lorraine
Kathy: Lorraine
Ken: Lorraine

3. Do I smoke?
My mom: NO, at least no tobacco
Mark: no
Alex: No, but you're nice to smokers :)
Kathy: no
Ken: Smoke what?..lol

4. Do I drink; if yes, what?
My mom: Yes, mostly red wine but a few mixed drinks.
Mark: Gin tonics
Alex: You do drink. You like red wine, margaritas, sangria
Kathy: wine
Ken: Yes..i sorta remember a time in the sand ..lol...

5. Color of my eyes:
My mom: Brown, but a light shape, more topaz
Mark: brown
Alex: Brown
Kathy: brown
Ken: Blue

6. Do I have any siblings?
My mom: Yes, many
Mark: no
Alex: Yes--a sister (Heather), a brother (Scott), and another half-brother. There may be another half sibling, but I'm not sure
Kathy: lots - one full-blood sister, two half brothers by your mother and step-father, and either two or three by your father (at least one brother and one sister)
Ken: Yes

7. What's one of my favorite things to do?
My mom: Start projects . . . sing
Mark: eat lunch with mark
Alex: Buying things at the outlets to sell on eBay
Kathy: tear up the house and rebuild it again
Ken: ummmmmmm see above

8. What's my favorite type of music?
My mom: Don't know the name . . . current vocals
Mark: not rascal flats
Alex: Rock
Kathy: your tastes are eclectic
Ken: the kind to stumble to...

9. Am I shy or outgoing?
My mom: Outgoing
Mark: outgoing
Alex: Outgoing
Kathy: outgoing
Ken: mix of both

10. Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
My mom: Trick question ! Co-vert rebel, you follow the rules but shape them to fit your needs
Mark: rebel
Alex: A combination of both, but a little bit more of a rebel
Kathy: depends on who made the rules
Ken: ummmmm

11. Any special talents:
My mom: Many, very creative and visual
Mark: hot glue gun, beware
Alex: You sing and do home improvements
Kathy: home improvement, graphic design
Ken: lol ohhhh ya

12. What am I most adamant about?
My mom: Correcting the follies of others and protecting small creatures from an unkind world
Mark: that people respect you
Alex: Not playing games in relationships
Kathy: J doing the laundry ;)
Ken: i have no clue

13. How many children do I have?
My mom: One, that I know of
Mark: 1 that I know of
Alex: One son named Jackson
Kathy: one, thank God
Ken: just Flea

14. Thought or memory when hearing my name:
My mom: Image of a 4 yo girl wearing a turtle neck shirt and a frilly top (school photo) because you had decided to cut your own hair in front about a 1/2" from your scalp amd I had to cut the rest of it in a pixie cut which made you look like a little boy. So I had to make 'girlie' apron tops to go with your current wardrobe. Actually I thought you looked pretty good with the pixie cut.
Mark: Blue Iguana
Alex: Sunday dinners :)
Kathy: reckless, fun, interesting, late
Ken: BREAD!

15. What is my job?
My mom: I would say for lack of a better title, graphic designer, again with the creativity and visuals
Mark: graphics Flunky
Alex: Graphic designer
Kathy: graphic artist
Ken: Webpage person

16. If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring?
My mom: "Being stranded" implies no for-planning, but you would have your laptop and therefore not truly 'stranded'
Mark: your purse full of stuff
Alex: Clive Owen
Kathy: Wine
Ken: BREAD!

Art and Hockey

It may sound like an odd combination, but I'd like to think of myself as a well-rounded person.

I was going to the game with a friend who was already in DC and headed over to the National Gallery of Art to kill time before I got out there. I ended up leaving work early, so met him there. By the time we got there, we had only about 10 minutes until they closed.

I suppose I have a very casual attitude about art; why can't it be fun?: I am sure art, like beauty, is in the eye of beholder.

While walking through the East Wing - behold: canvases, each painted a solid block of color, arranged in a grid on a stone wall. To me, this looked like someone wanted to paint the stone wall and wasn't sure which color chip to choose, so they tested all of them.

I generally prefer modern art, like painters Pollack, Kandinsky and O'Keefe, to, say, Van Gogh, Monet and Renoir. My friend likes Dali and Chagall. It is MY opinion that I could have painted much like Chagall in first-grade, but what do I know? This is not to say that I do not appreciate the imagination and work that it takes to create many works of art, they may just not be my preference.

During our brief visit, there was one display I found interesting and clever. Andy Goldsworthy, inspired by the stone buildings in DC designed this permanent fixture on the ground level of the East Building. I really like natural materials and have always been drawn to stone. What makes this even more interesting is that a couple of the domes appear to seamlessly peak under the huge plate-glass windows. I like to see nature harmonized with what, the unnatural(?) as in architecture. This reminded me of a couple of images on the AIA site (while I worked there), of homes that were built to incorporate a large tree. The photo of the house on the left does not illustrate this very well, but is amazing! I'll keep looking for the other images. ...oh, here is more fantastic architecture (gotta love surfing the web!): Hotel Marqués de Riscal.

Generally, I prefer the Hirshorn to NGA, but I'll keep an open mind and keep checking back. At the very least, the Hirshorn makes for an entertaining and lively conversation on a first date!

Oh yeah, and I went to the game: Caps versus Minnesota Wild. Good game; Caps won 4-1

Home Improvements-the hall

Home-project related unintended puns:

"This vacuum really sucks" - J (my kid, who abhors vacuuming)

"Well, I better know which tile I want because once I glue it down, I am stuck with it!" - me, as I was telling my brother about the bathroom.

The second one is related to what I have been doing lately. I have gotten remotivated (thank you Jim) to finish some projects around the house.

I had torn out the carpet (see photo on left; half of tread carpet complete) on the upper level stairs and in the hall; I removed the banister and handrail (and NOT fallen off the hallway ONCE!-Gary was concerned), replaced some drywall (water damage), removed all trim and flat-paneled doors.

Fairly quickly, I put in oak-faced risers on the stairs, oak hardwood flooring in the hall and replaced the doors with six-panel doors with bronze knobs (very unique). A bit later, I put in the mission-style oak newel post. At that time, I also finished the hand and base rails for the hall, but due to severe miscommunication with spawn, they were put out with the trash about 30 seconds before the trash truck came...sooooo......I had to get new and start all over -- it's always something.

As a perfectionist, I sand, I apply sealer, sand, apply....repeat no fewer than two more times...sand, apply polyuerathane, sand, another coat, one more sanding touch-up, then final coat. Then, I have to figure out the railing. I bought black wrought iron pickets to give the railing a more open, modern look compared to the horrible 70s inspired original design. As of today, I have finally measured and settled on a final length. This next week, I'll drop them at an iron shop for cutting. Then, I'll have the joy of precisely drilling holes into the floor, marking the bottom of the railing, and chiseling out the squares for installation. While getting this thing installed is a bit intimidating for me, I know it isn't going to install itself! So...

It has been a bear trying to figure out how the wood around the stair opening should work, what to do with the stairs (finished oak or painted trim? Wooden handrail or wrought iron?)

As of now, the baseboards are all installed, caulked and repainted (three times). Quarter round --prefinished from Bruce Flooring,expensive at $14.95/8 lin. ft, but looks perfect --was glued down (go Gorilla glue!) and carefully braced to avoid nail holes. Today, I repainted each of the four doors (twice) and touched up some of the trim.

Awhile ago, I became distracted by the idea of a mural. Jackson loves it when I paint these crazy things, so talked me into doing something in the hall. To the right, you can see what I have done, thus far. It still needs much work, but I have other priorities, right now.

I expect to have the whole thing (except the mural) finished by week's end. I have a few other photos of the trim that I'll post later. I know you are really excited to see it, but you will just have to wait a bit longer--you can do it!

In case you are curious, below are a few photos of other murals I have done. The one on the left is currently in Jackson's room that is decorated with a southwest theme. It matches a wool kilim pillow cover that he won't keep on his bed. The photo in the center is actually just a small part of his room, as it was decorated before, with a tropical underwater theme. The one on the right is an accent wall I painted in the dining room. I had a rug that matched it very closely. Now, the rug is gone and the wall has been painted with a green suede paint.

My killing spree continues...

My previous post is about my having my dog euthanized.

This morning, as J and I were coming home from breakfast, he said: "It's still alive; it's legs are moving." about the crow that I had barely noticed as we were driving past.

Could I just drive home and leave this animal in agony on the side of the road where someone left it after having had hit it with the car. I cannot imagine how ANYONE could do something like that! I don't care where I am headed, I would stop and do anything I could. If left at the curb, it would be prey to other animals, or die of dehydration, at the very least, in a couple of days.

In this instance, I wrapped the crow, who was struggling slightly while on its back, with some napkins and turn it over. It just sat there, blinking, watching me. It's beak was broken and there was a bit of blood in its mouth. How do you FIX that? I called animal control who was going to send someone out. J got a box from the car, I placed the crow in the box and drove the 1/4 mile home.

What was I doing? I hate crows! They are so annoying and loud; they are nuisance birds. But, looking at its eyes, thinking it must be in terrible pain and frightened.

...anyway, an officer came to my house. He said they would euthanize it since there was no one to take care of it. I said that I would take care of it, if someone could set its beak; he said vets wouldn't since they are classified as "nuisance wildlife". I had rubber gloves near the door (for working with glue and drywall), so held the crow gently, while the officer injected it with a tranquilizer.

It was pretty rough at the very end. But, again, it was the right thing to do for the animal.

No, I cannot save everything/everyone, as I have been told, but I would love to, some day, have some sort of ranch/farm where I do make a difference to some. "Be the change you want to see in the world" -Ghandi ...I cannot agree more.

Goodbye Devon

On January 15, I finally had Devon put down.

I was taking to A about the dogs since I would be going away for the next weekend. I said, "maybe I'll just ask J if I could bring Blossom" then realized I said nothing of Devon; I must have subconsciously made the decision that he would not be here. It was time to do the right thing by my dog, who had lived with us, since he was three months old, for almost 14 years.

Toy Manchesters are very healthy dogs in all aspects, with the exception of their mouths. At this point, Devon had only half of his teeth left, despite the fact that I cleaned his teeth fairly regularly. I even had a set of dental tools to scrape off tarter, which would come of in large chunks.

Last July, J noticed a large red bump on his tongue as they waited in the Saab (convertible) as I ran into the store. As he would pant, you could see a marble-sized lump right in the middle of his tongue! We were on our way down to my parents' house, so I took him to their vet.

The vet suggested we put him under general anesthesia to take a biopsy. If it came back positive, have him simply not wake up. The problem with removing it was that most of his tongue would have to be removed and there is a large vein that runs underneath....

Anyway, none of that matters now. I put it off for 18 months. For the past couple of months, he would wimper if his head was touched. I think his gums were receeding very quickly so he was uncomfortable if not in pain.

I had asked someone go with me who was extremely supportive. I hate being so emotional and out of control in front of people, but I do not think I could have done it alone or with J. My vet was amazing; comforting, supportive and soothing. I know I was doing the right thing (crying now) but it doesn't make it any easier. I kept telling myself "I can still change my mind and not do this, but once that second needle is in, it is too late." I stayed strong, I think, and went through with it all.

To make things even more difficult, I did this in January when the ground was partially frozen. I had to wait to bury him out back because I had to call MissUtility to mark the utility lines. Truly, if it had not been freezing, literally, outside, I would have considered a different solution to having him in the car for six days. But, I did want him buried out back, near where he would lie in the sunshine, legs tucked underneath with his eyes closed.

I think his disappearance has affected Blossom: she howls when we leave, she is extremely happy (more than normal) when we return, she is even more submissive and needy. Like the grieving for me, it will take her time.

With him gone, it is the little funny little things that I notice. The first morning afterwards, I went to take the "dogs" out. Blossom ran out and I stood there a moment, with the door open, waiting for Devon. I almost even called him again; he will never come when called. He liked to lie next to me on my bed, shaking, which drove me nuts. He would be curled up on the dog bed and Jones (the cat) would lick his head; he would grumble, but take it.

I received a couple of suggestions, other than the obvious of just burying him:
Kathy: right after he is put down, straighten his legs. When rigor mortis sets in, you can take him to an Irish pub, stand him in the middle of the table and have a wake.
Mark: right after he is put down, fold his legs under him, as if he is lying down. Then, you can put him in a purse, with his head sticking out, and carry him around like Paris Hilton carries her dog.

I did neither, but appreciate the ideas; thanks guys.

He was a great dog. Yes, he farted, whined and shook like a dryer with sneakers inside. But, he would walk directly beside me without a leash and loved to ride in the convertible, hopping around me as we got in the car. He was a very sweet dog.

I miss you terribly, Dev.