You caught my ire

Things you should not hear (nor say) on a first date:

"Yes, I am bad and I need to be spanked" followed by turning your back and leaning over, slightly.

"She prefers girth, not length." to the bartender when your date requests a rocks glass versus a juice glass for bourbon and ginger ale.

"Oh good, you aren't kissing someone" when returning from the men's room, explained by:

"Yes, I walked out of the bar the second time my girlfriend was kissing some guy" followed by:

"She had sex in the men's room with a black guy and told me the baby was mine; I was the one who had to take her to the abortion clinic..." followed by:

"We stopped dating, but still had booty calls."

"I am not really a breast man; I go straight for the [gestures toward her crotch]."

"I don't have any money, but my [estranged] wife is a millionaire a couple times over now."

"Guess what kind of car I drive." (I guessed Ford Pinto, then Gremlin. I think that irked him since he was, clearly, trying to brag about his BMW-leased btw)

"Ever since my gastric bypass surgery, I cannot keep chicken down." "Should I kiss you before or after this cigar?" (rather
presumptuous that he will get kissed at all!)

"Yes, I know my friends keep calling me. Since I am not confident about my judgment, they are looking out for me." (No shit! Because everything you said, above, was based on GOOD JUDGMENT?)

What is dating? What is the game? Is dating a game? Am I a player? If I view dating as a game, and I date, does this mean I am a player?

I don't believe that I am a player, but when I view the above situation and allow it to proceed due to the entertainment factor, hence 'a game', I may be a player. Considering the above statements, who could blame me? Apparently, the smooth talker (a lawyer, BTW) who crafted such eloquent sentences within an hour of our first meeting.

Theory: people who talk about money don't have any; people who talk about sex don't get any; people who brag about what they drive, what they pay to exs have to pay strippers, hookers or gold diggers to pay any attention to them; they also have to be humilated by trashy women who are fine with a booty call buddy status because going out in public only brings the possibility that she will end up in the men's room with someone else! I guess if the personality doesn't work, credit cards and flashing cash must pick up some slack.

All of this goes to further prove to myself that I should pay more attention to my instincts. Animals have instincts for survival. Without them, they could be eaten alive or at least mauled. Does the same go for dating? Animals don't date, but humans can be eaten alive or metaphorically mauled. I look back and am just amused:

In fairness, I think it is reasonable to state that I am not perfect (eyes downcast): I focus on details too often, some slights bother me more than I should allow them to, my grammar is imperfect (thank you; I don't need it clarified unless the correction is explained), I procrastinate, I lose track of time, I juggle too many thoughts, projects, ideas and some of each get lost, I could stand to lose more weight...I think I'll stop there on the negative. On the positive: I am creative, loyal to friends, love and protect animals, love and adore my child (who drives me NUTS!), very handy, and a decent, although fast, driver. :) So, yes, I do have a pretty high opinion of myself.