What's a little porn between friends?

Irony: planning to watch "The Pursuit of HappYness" or "Babel" with your friend (female, BTW) and you end up watching "Babysitter #15", etc (I cannot recall the names; they are all pretty much the same) with exaggerated moaning and groaning, actors in the pursuit of....I am not sure what...it was hard (ha!) to follow. I came upon these movies (be ready for numous puns!) said porn innocently enough. I was scanning the copied DVD titles: "Superman Returns" (Oh, I just thought of this: porn title could be "Superman Cums Again"), "Baby Mozart" (they have kids), and numerous other titles that, for some reason, have escaped my memory.

They should be used like this!

"Babysitter #15" (a copied DVD so this was written on the front with a Sharpie) was basically a number of "vignettes", each more ridiculous than the last. Each a barrage of T (silicone grossly enhanced)/A (some needed a serious shave!), c-shots, etc (I'll just leave it at that) These didn't even have the wildly humourous, typically bad music of 70s porn; I guess this was lower budget. And cigars should not be used like that!

Understand that, to women, this is generally not erotic; this is quite absurd and we watch, laughing, criticizing how skinny the woman is ("hey buddy, stop reach for her chest because there isn't anything to hold onto up there!") or wonder WHY anyone would want a gallon of silicone bouncing around like that; discussing the variety of options for hair removal and styles the 'actresses' chose to display, if there was any hair left. OH!! And how disappointing that the men are guys you would NEVER EVER consider dating let alone....you get the idea. REALLY! Why can't they find decent looking guys? Our theory is that, generally, guys watch this stuff and prefer to see below average looking men 'getting it on' so that they feel better about their below-to-average looks, if that is the case (think Ron Jeremy! pictured in case you don't know who he is).

There was even one 'vignette' with a MIDGET! K kept saying how he seemed really short but I couldn't tell until the normal-sized woman stood up (she spent most of her time [not standing up]) When he dropped his pants, K exclaimed "OH! not everything is short!" It was a little scary and all very funny.

Gentlemen, please note: if you are into watching porn and are considering including that special lady with your viewing pleasure, it may not be as erotic as you had hoped: she will probably critique storylines, hair styles; express concern that everyone be tested for STDs (condoms make c-shots impossible), .....the anti-erotic list goes on. BUT, if you are in the mood for a comedy, bring on the Ron Jeremy shaving scenes!

Please do not think that I am judging pornography negatively; I like erotica, but I prefer heavy breathing, not gasping for breath from laughing.