Life in general

Things have been pretty busy for me for the past month or so. You may note that I am posting this in what you may call "the middle of the night", but it is, for me, the middle of my workday. Sure, I am sitting here on my bed typing, but I am going to get ONE sleep cycle in (90 minutes, in case you don't know what I am talking about), then my son will wake, wake ME, then I'll shower, then run back to work (which I finally left at 3 a.m.)

Work: very busy! We are working on a proposal for a military somethingorother in Darfur. I don't pay attention to the actual content; I just do the graphics and read through the documents simply for corrections. I wasn't even on this proposal until this past Friday. Eight graphics turned into 55, at last count. We go to print on Saturday. When I heard this in a meeting, my stomach dropped because I knew I would not be able to go to Long Island, as previously planned, this weekend. Then my boss asked if I had plans and I admitted that I did, but could cancel. Apparently, according to the coordinator, I was pulled in at the last minute (a week, in proposal time) to save the proposal. Honestly! That is really what she said! Anyhoo, someone else on the team will cover me in the event of any changes, but tonight, at about 10 p.m., I tried to stress to the writer's that I would NOT be at work after 3, possibly 2, on Friday, so they really should get changes in on Thursday. After that, they get what they get from my understudy.

Love: yup, I actually wrote that...I am, indeed, in love. I finally found someone (or actually, he found ME) with whom I can be myself and completely comfortable. It is a bit overwhelming when you put up a barrier and someone comes to you and says things and asks questions that chip away the wall. I cannot say this relationship has not had challenges, but they have nothing to do with he and I. I think it is safe to assume that anyone over the age of eight has some amount of baggage. Personally, I like the concept of traveling light, but I like shoes too much! Scott is wonderful: caring, intelligent, cuddly, attentive, sexy, fun, silly, good looking, and considerate. It's funny: I remember making a list of what I would want in a person. I must have had 20+ items on my list. As I got older, the list whittled down to: "not allergic to cats and mostly liked kids". When I think of Scott, I realize that my list was possible. I am so lucky that I had the opportunity to make a smart choice and let it all begin. :) (getting pretty tired here, so I better make it fast....)


J: in high school now. Dramas are almost daily. So, why would I want another child? I am not sure, but perhaps my money would be better spent on a frontal lobotomy!


Scout (the cat) just knocked something else over in the bathroom, so I may be short one cat soon. Grrrrr!


Everything else is generally the same.......about to konk out here! Goodnight (morning).

You just never know....

what can happen when you take a chance!!

It is funny that people hold back so often; we don't say what we want to say in fear of the reaction we may receive. The response may be negative:

"Will you go out with me?"

"No, I am having a wart removed that night and
will need a year to recover, but thank you for asking."

But that percieved negative could actually be positive because, to you, warts are more disgusting than the yolk of a hardboiled egg (in your opinion, but that IS the topic, isn't it?) Or, you could get a positive response to your inquiry, but later learn that she loves egg yolks and has more warts than the Wicked Witch of the West and the personality to match! (maybe no one asked HER out!)

Why are we afraid? Haven't we had enough life experience to know that we can survive some disappointment? No matter how rough your day is, no matter how difficult a situation can be, you will live to see tomorrow. There will only be ONE time that you are wrong in this scenario and you won't be around to lament your decision!

I write all this knowing full well that I had something very important to say on Friday and danced around it knowing full well that the ultimate point was going to be missed in all of my side-stepping (yes, I have fear as well!). But, today, someone was doing a little dance on the same subject. Knowing the steps well, I saw where it was going and simply asked: "Do you have something you want to say?" or something like that because the answer to that question blurred my vision and part of my memory! Let's just say that the person did indeed have something to say and did so in the most charming and adorable way that I don't want to embarrass him by posting it here: it is emblazened in my memory, and we are the only ones that count in the situation. (So, I rush to post it in my blog, right?)

I'd post a photo, but none of those to which I have access do him the justice that he deserves. ALSO, I'd have to ask his permission first.

You caught my ire

Things you should not hear (nor say) on a first date:

"Yes, I am bad and I need to be spanked" followed by turning your back and leaning over, slightly.

"She prefers girth, not length." to the bartender when your date requests a rocks glass versus a juice glass for bourbon and ginger ale.

"Oh good, you aren't kissing someone" when returning from the men's room, explained by:

"Yes, I walked out of the bar the second time my girlfriend was kissing some guy" followed by:

"She had sex in the men's room with a black guy and told me the baby was mine; I was the one who had to take her to the abortion clinic..." followed by:

"We stopped dating, but still had booty calls."

"I am not really a breast man; I go straight for the [gestures toward her crotch]."

"I don't have any money, but my [estranged] wife is a millionaire a couple times over now."

"Guess what kind of car I drive." (I guessed Ford Pinto, then Gremlin. I think that irked him since he was, clearly, trying to brag about his BMW-leased btw)

"Ever since my gastric bypass surgery, I cannot keep chicken down." "Should I kiss you before or after this cigar?" (rather
presumptuous that he will get kissed at all!)

"Yes, I know my friends keep calling me. Since I am not confident about my judgment, they are looking out for me." (No shit! Because everything you said, above, was based on GOOD JUDGMENT?)

What is dating? What is the game? Is dating a game? Am I a player? If I view dating as a game, and I date, does this mean I am a player?

I don't believe that I am a player, but when I view the above situation and allow it to proceed due to the entertainment factor, hence 'a game', I may be a player. Considering the above statements, who could blame me? Apparently, the smooth talker (a lawyer, BTW) who crafted such eloquent sentences within an hour of our first meeting.

Theory: people who talk about money don't have any; people who talk about sex don't get any; people who brag about what they drive, what they pay to exs have to pay strippers, hookers or gold diggers to pay any attention to them; they also have to be humilated by trashy women who are fine with a booty call buddy status because going out in public only brings the possibility that she will end up in the men's room with someone else! I guess if the personality doesn't work, credit cards and flashing cash must pick up some slack.

All of this goes to further prove to myself that I should pay more attention to my instincts. Animals have instincts for survival. Without them, they could be eaten alive or at least mauled. Does the same go for dating? Animals don't date, but humans can be eaten alive or metaphorically mauled. I look back and am just amused:

In fairness, I think it is reasonable to state that I am not perfect (eyes downcast): I focus on details too often, some slights bother me more than I should allow them to, my grammar is imperfect (thank you; I don't need it clarified unless the correction is explained), I procrastinate, I lose track of time, I juggle too many thoughts, projects, ideas and some of each get lost, I could stand to lose more weight...I think I'll stop there on the negative. On the positive: I am creative, loyal to friends, love and protect animals, love and adore my child (who drives me NUTS!), very handy, and a decent, although fast, driver. :) So, yes, I do have a pretty high opinion of myself.

BEST DINNER EVER!

Background: I have never been the type to prepare dinner nightly. Even when my son was small, sometimes, cheese, crackers, veggies and dip served as 'dinner'. Sometimes, it was a pot of chili (pretty good actually) that lasted for a few nights, etc. Actually, since my son was about eight, he learned to cook. By 11, he could fully plan, write a list for, and execute the actual meal. He made sure there was a protein, vegetables and sometimes a starch. He also made sure there was texture, color, and shape variety (I am so proud!) Johnson Wales would be lucky to have him! Now, we have been buying sauces in squeeze bottles for added presentation flair.

I don't usually cook something like I did tonight, but lately, I have been holding 'Sunday dinners' where I have a little more fun with food. To me, it is the culinary equivalent of 'dress up'. Alex and I have a weightloss bet (details to follow, maybe) so are using these opportunities to figure out healthy but DELISH! menus. First week, I made a london broil, watermelon and...I cannot remember the other items, but they were all healthy and very good. The next week, she marinated veggies that were thrown onto the grill with a huge salmon fillet. To that, I added my 'signature salad' and an amazing dessert of fresh strawberries with a balsamic vingar/bittersweet chocolate reduction. Independance Day was a couple of steaks, tomato/avocado salad, grilled yellow squash and sangria (we are experimenting with different flavors; this one included lemon/lime seltzer, a good Spanish wine and pomogranite juice)

I spoke to a friend who was going to come over, then grabbed my friends/neighbors who seemed to be happy that I caught them before they went to Silver Diner. The day I cannot cook better than SD, please just shoot me! Alex whipped up some white sangria (Governor's white table wine, my leftover lime mineral water for fizz and braeburn apples [no peaches; Burt ate all of them]) The addition of strawberries may have been nice.

The menu:

• Tomato and avocado salad with bacon, yellow peppers and cilantro
• Broiled marinated (in ginger, garlic, lime juice and cilantro) sea scallops and pan fried jumbo shrimp in sesame, lime bacon sauce
• Sesame crusted seared tuna with sesame, basic chili noodles
• Ginger lime pan fried shrimp with tomatillo mango salsa
  

We also had a fabulous bottle of Weingut Joh. Haart 2005 Riesling. I am not a big fan of white wine, but this Reisling is not too sweet and perfect with delicate foods like seafood. It doesn't overpower the spices and fruit and....oh nevermind, I am not going to pretend to know the dazzling 'foodie' terms; I'll leave that to Kathy.

Anyway, the wine coupled with the half of a pitcher of sangria released very lively conversation, general silliness and mangled demonsrations of pronunciations of "horrible", "nuCLEar", and an extended discussion and test run of whether or not Devon (the dog) is going deaf (OK, this may sound dull to you, but it was all pretty funny at the moment). More than half-way through this revelry, Jackson returned home from his Aunt's where he had spent the last 1.5 weeks. He was concerned for all of us, to say the least. We returned the favor by regaling him with stories of July 4 (walking through the woods from Reston to Herndon and back with only the light of our collective cell phones to keep us from breaking ankles or falling into the creek), etc. Thus, more hilarity ensued, as did more confused expressions of concern from my spawn.

In the photo on the right, what you do not see is that Burt was demonstrating Alex's excessive strength by demanding 'piggyback rides'. Afterwards, he kept walking around bending over in front of her; J and I were a bit concerned (can anyone say 'strap on'?) and took his glass away.

I find that the best times to be had are are impromtu and include at least one bottle of alcohol.

Thanks guys! I had a fabulous time

So, why am I still up? I am waiting for the bidding on a black Tadashi and a burgundy Shelli Segal (for A/B wedding) cocktail dresses. Wish me luck.

Another reason to admire my spawn

I am frustrated.

My brilliant (tested, not assumed) kid is an EXTREME underachiever in school. He gets As on tests without any study, butgrades are no where near that because he won't do the class/homework. Heis in honors Science and Civics and was recently moved up to honors math(he was in it last year, but insecurity and fear made him [in my mind]deliberately fail-he made it up in summer school).

Yesterday, we were arguing about the fact that he needs to develop a routine for school and for his life in general; I need to trust that he has actually done homework when he says he has, etc. That turned into an arguement about expectations and failing to meet or even try to meet them,etc...I explained that I was disappointed that it seemed that, no matter what he was told, he would do whatever he wanted, regarding school, clothes, etc.

(A little background: He has a friend whom I view as a bad influence. Unsupervised, possibly involved in a gang [at least mode of dress], participating in unprotected sex at age 14, etc)

When continued involvement with this person was mentioned, yet again, he said: "You view [friend] as a bad influence on me, but if I do something, it is because*I* chose to do it. Also, while, he may not necessarily be a bad influence on me, I could be a good influence on HIM!" This one is tough, as a parent: do I possibly sacrifice MY child for someone else's? And what does it teach MY son to say that he should turn his back on this friend. "Just because you tell me I cannot be his friend doesn't mean I can be his friend one day, then not be his friend the NEXT day." He is worried about this friend, specifically relating to the unprotected sex and has encouraged the friend to use condoms IF he is having sex.

So, what I admire is his sense of loyalty, to the friend and in trying to BE a friend; talking to him about these things; to be, possibly, the only person who [friend] may feel comfortable in sharing these topics. I also admire that he is admitting that HE makes his own choices; that ultimately, no one else is responsible for what he does or does not do.

Is 14/15 too old to invite over for milk, cookies and supervised homework time? I am going to have to REALLY think about this situation.

Saab: born from jets

Oops, make that "Saab born from the Flintstones car"! How about "Saab: careful about using that turbo unless you want to blind everyone behind you" or "Saab: eat my burning oil exhaust while I gas the driver of this piece..." OK, I'll just say I am not overly thrilled with my car today.

This is what my car usually looks like (pictured at right) and if you were driving behind me on Route 28 near 66 today at about noon, you saw (pictured immediately below)

Oh, you don't see anything there? EXACTLY!!! Anyone behind me disappeared in a cloud of thick white smoke, invisible to me in the rearview mirror. I could hardly hear the numerous horns honking because I think I was in shock that my darling, adorable, ADORED and beloved car was doing this to me! Call to mechanic gave me honest to God cold chills: "Sounds like the engine. Smoke you say? Do you have oil? No, black smoke or white? Hmmm, you are looking at $3-5,000. I think I went through three or four stages of grief in the span of about 30 seconds! Please understand that I LOVE this car.

I would almost trade the life of one of my dogs for the life of this car. I say 'almost' because I would be a terrible, cruel person to even consider that option and, mostly, would not sacrifice the dog for the car because of guilt...the car is easy on the carpet. Keep in mind that one of the dogs also ate the dog bed today since I had taken off the cover to wash it for her (darned bathroom looked like a feather pillow threw up in there). And the other has more gas than I could EVER put into that car. (He isn't called Farty Dog by K for no reason)

Anyway, I was checking clearance items at Macys when the diagnosis came in: $1,600 for the blown turbo (one of my guesses of what went wrong) Manager said I sounded surprisingly positive considering....let me form this number string again: one thousand, six hundred dolllllaaaaarrrrrrssssszzzzzzz! I simply said: "I guess so because $1,600 is much better than $3-5,000 and I LALALALALUUUUVVV that car! (That mechanic now OWNS my soul and my first born; I am not worried about either at this moment)

SO, I get it back tomorrow, just in time for the sunny weather this weekend. Maybe I need to head up to Baltimore so that I can go 95mph on that highway (I can't remember the name of it, but the speed limit signs say "95"! Oh, I think the highway number is 65.

Top down, hair whipping my face, Foo Fighters or Nickelback cranked, dogs ears flapping in the wind and we are happy.

I am glad my tax return is enourmous.

What's a little porn between friends?

Irony: planning to watch "The Pursuit of HappYness" or "Babel" with your friend (female, BTW) and you end up watching "Babysitter #15", etc (I cannot recall the names; they are all pretty much the same) with exaggerated moaning and groaning, actors in the pursuit of....I am not sure what...it was hard (ha!) to follow. I came upon these movies (be ready for numous puns!) said porn innocently enough. I was scanning the copied DVD titles: "Superman Returns" (Oh, I just thought of this: porn title could be "Superman Cums Again"), "Baby Mozart" (they have kids), and numerous other titles that, for some reason, have escaped my memory.

They should be used like this!

"Babysitter #15" (a copied DVD so this was written on the front with a Sharpie) was basically a number of "vignettes", each more ridiculous than the last. Each a barrage of T (silicone grossly enhanced)/A (some needed a serious shave!), c-shots, etc (I'll just leave it at that) These didn't even have the wildly humourous, typically bad music of 70s porn; I guess this was lower budget. And cigars should not be used like that!

Understand that, to women, this is generally not erotic; this is quite absurd and we watch, laughing, criticizing how skinny the woman is ("hey buddy, stop reach for her chest because there isn't anything to hold onto up there!") or wonder WHY anyone would want a gallon of silicone bouncing around like that; discussing the variety of options for hair removal and styles the 'actresses' chose to display, if there was any hair left. OH!! And how disappointing that the men are guys you would NEVER EVER consider dating let alone....you get the idea. REALLY! Why can't they find decent looking guys? Our theory is that, generally, guys watch this stuff and prefer to see below average looking men 'getting it on' so that they feel better about their below-to-average looks, if that is the case (think Ron Jeremy! pictured in case you don't know who he is).

There was even one 'vignette' with a MIDGET! K kept saying how he seemed really short but I couldn't tell until the normal-sized woman stood up (she spent most of her time [not standing up]) When he dropped his pants, K exclaimed "OH! not everything is short!" It was a little scary and all very funny.

Gentlemen, please note: if you are into watching porn and are considering including that special lady with your viewing pleasure, it may not be as erotic as you had hoped: she will probably critique storylines, hair styles; express concern that everyone be tested for STDs (condoms make c-shots impossible), .....the anti-erotic list goes on. BUT, if you are in the mood for a comedy, bring on the Ron Jeremy shaving scenes!

Please do not think that I am judging pornography negatively; I like erotica, but I prefer heavy breathing, not gasping for breath from laughing.