It is just WRONG...

when your 13-year-old kid is walking around, no shirt, flexing his triceps and abs, talking about how sexy he is!

There is a girl who keeps calling. He said she likes him. I had to check my phone bill for something and found the calls to be mutual (he is unaware that I know this). I teased "Come on, you KNOW you like her."
"She's OK. But I get so many, it is tough to keep track." [muscle flex; muscle flex]

I hold out hope that one time he tries to leap frog a fence post or traffic barrier (what are those phallic looking painted concrete barriers?) and doesn't quite clear it. The only problem is that he would probably go face first into the concrete sidewalk and lose some teeth. But, I won't have to worry about buying the condoms I promised to supply if he waits until he is at LEAST 16.

Speaking of SEXY, you should see some of the shoes I found on ebay (of course, right?) He needs some moderately dressy shoes because he was chosen, with 20 other boys, to represent his school at this conference sponsored by Nike. I was thinking something like Dirty Bucks, Doc Martins, something like:






but look at THESE:












I am so tempted to get the blue snakeskin (top/right) for him, but it may clash (slightly??) with the rest of the ensemble! I see those with basic black pants and one of those black/blue bowling shirts. The great thing about J is that he'd WEAR IT! Perfect for a movie premiere; SMIII is in May, yannow. He can wear that while I work on finding a Tadashi I like.

Dating site observation

Match.com: they advertise 75% off of cruises YES! So, I just met someone on a dating site. Shall we have dinner? Naa, too conventional. Movie? Naa, you can't really talk and get to know each other. I KNOW! Let's go on a cruise and be stuck together on a boat for, oh I don't know a WEEK?, where we can learn all about each other's foibles, problems with exes, restraining orders, etc. PERFECT Where do I sign up. Oh, wait! I already did.....NOT!

So, how many dates does it take until you are ready to go on a discount cruise with someone? Alex told me that by the third date, you can have sex (But, I think it is still pretty soon) So, by that standard, you take vacations together by date....ummm....6? Engagement by 10? Grandchildren by 45?

I am so NOT a 'rules' girl! (You know there is a book called "The Rules" right?)

Why pets should remain indoors...

So, I am perusing ebay (but of course!) for burled wood to make a large clock, blah blah and my kid says: "Hey mom, let me see that website 'whatjeffkilled.com'" (I think I was looking for images of cats and dogs months ago for the Metro Bus ad for SPCA to encourage spaying/neutering and came upon this ....I do not know how to describe it...you'll have to see it yourself!) http://www.whatjeffkilled.com

I am amazed that people say something like: "My cat is my BABY!" Would you let your 'baby' stay out all night and dine on any random wildlife they get ahold of, getting whatever random diseases this wildlife may carry, get into animal fights or risk getting killed on the road, etc? If you REALLY love your pet aka 'baby', for God's sake, keep it inside! And if that is how you raise your babies, do them AND the rest of us a favor and call Spay, Inc. for yourself. Thank you.

I type this as I am sitting on my bed with no fewer than two dogs and two cats at my feet (I cannot MOVE my feet!) and two cats lounging on the floor NEXT to my bed. I think they like the heat up here. ;)

Dis iz nod de best weekend to ged sig!

I have so much work to do and feel TERRIBLE: sinus headache, sweaty then chills and general stuffiness. I wonder if PeaPod can just deliver Giant's Italian Wedding soup and maybe some C-Monster by the gallon! Odd thing is: I have lost a few pounds in the past couple of days and am STARVING! J made pasta with squid and marinara earlier and was mad at me that I ate so much of his (honey, here is a tip: GIVE ME MY OWN BOWL!)

Is it too late to call for a pizza?

Anyway, I MUST be better for THIS weekend. And if not, at least I'll have someone who will serve me soup on demand.

...update...lunch was nice & I cannot be bought

Lunch at Clyde's:

He didn't think tap water was good enough for me so made me (!) have bottled Saratoga (?)...anyway, it was fine; as was tap water, honestly.

"French gentleman" is a very pleasant conversationalist and quite flattering. Apparently, je suis tres European: open and free; satisfied with my life, etc. At one point, he asked: "Is there anything you want?"-a rather open question. Fearful that he would try to get whatever it may be (no Kathy, I would NOT say 'sapphires"!: while a high priced one, it would still just make me a whore), so I said

"I have everything I could want".
"Well, what would make you happy?"
"I am actually a pretty happy person."-no shots about my meds, please! j/k
"No, really, what is it that you want?"
"....umm....I really want the snow to melt!"
Which turned into a very brief conversation about the weather, and why he thinks Florida is better then why I would NEVER move to Florida, etc. Whew...I slipped out of that one fairly gracefully.

Afterwards, he asked if I had ever been to the 'furniture store' by Starbucks. I told him there is a Pottery Barn; he said that is not it.
"The artsy store?"
"Yes, that is the one. Would you like to walk down with me?"
"Sure [etc]"

Looking around said art store, he asked what type of art I like; "what do you like HERE?" I do not know how to specify why I knew he wanted to buy something for me, but I did NOT want him to, so I casually talked about the terrible dog head clocks (where the tongue is the pendulum), the tacky mugs with faces, etc., so he knew what I did NOT like.

Back down the promenade, (the town center is like a little village with a 'main avenue' where foot traffic is common and, today, somewhat heavy) toward my car. He asked if I would accompany him to Williams Sonoma. We admired this; we admired that, I laughed at the absurdity of some prices, specifically of the olive wood cutting board that the manufacturer couldn't manage to sand seams smooth (a little alliteration for you!-say THAT fast!). He took a couple of things over to the register as I spoke to the sales lady about the olive wood canister ($129!!!, but it included utencils I didn't want anyway-pfft) As we left, he handed me a bag containing little edamame) (soybean pod chopstick seats I had commented upon as we entered. Very nice of him.

All-in-all, it was very pleasant. I enjoyed the 'date', if that is what you must call it; I don't. I found him and his conversation very interesting, flattering and, for that matter, enlightening. Did you know that, to signal the waiter that you are finished, you place your knife and fork next to each other, along the side of the plate? I countered that I had learned that you cross them in the middle of the plate indicating an X: "I am finished". He said they did it differently in Europe. Je suis une American qui tres vulgar, je crois.

.......
Reflecting: I wonder why I have an issue with things like that: I don't want people to BUY things for me. Odd considering the general concept that I would think I would LIKE gifts, I just never want anyone to think that I would do something for a little trinket that I would otherwise not do: I cannot be bought. Not that that is anyone's intention, I just don't want to feel like I owe. I do know how some European men are: it has happened to me a few times and I have heard stories. I told my friend, earlier, 'he would be more honest if a Kelly bag showed up at my door, with an engraved invitation!" I'd return them both, although I would LOVE a Kelly bag! Perhaps, I'll BUY one.

My mother once told me that HER mother told her: you can fall in love with a rich man just as easily as a poor one. Well, I countered with: "I guess that would make you a whore; a legal one, but one nonetheless." Disappointing of my mother considering the fact that she raised my sister and me to be so independant, but , until she married, was financially insecure and did not own property. Anyway, ultimately, I am sure we all have our price; so far, no offer has been presented that would be sufficient for me to give myself away. Maybe I'll just play the lottery; the government already owns me!

I used to have a fascinating friend who was inspired my awe: of her power. Coupled by an equal measure of disgust. She could get any guy give or get her anything she wanted, including his SOUL, but most often, just a free drink (or five!), which was more important, to her. As one who enjoys being spectator in any psychological study aka "people watching": I found it interesting (horrifying?) that all it took was a slight lean forward in her tight [whatever--they were always tight], a few flattering words and the guy's brain would turn off, making the drinks FLOW, money disappear and souls be eroded. I know this is an exaggeration of my issue above, but I ....and I am not positive why...cannot do this. There are too many factors.

If I want to give something, ANYTHING, it must be because I want to. It will never be because I am guilted into it or, God forbid, PAID for it...those mean I have not chosen to do so, whether it be my time, my money, or .....whatever. Just so everyone knows: if I do something for you, it is because I WANTED TO; and I expect no 'payback'; I don't keep score.

Wow, I really need to get back to work now!...

Je suis tres mal!

Je ne comprende pas comment.....oops.....I don't understand how I get myself into these things! You are sitting there, having your chai latte, checking email, considering graphic buttons and tabs, then need to step away to the ladies room (Clearly, I was in public; I call it 'the bathroom' at home)

I came back to my table at Greenberry's and a nice, older (late 40s, early 50s?) French gentleman asked me about my wireless card, "what is the cord?" etc., then engaged me in conversation about (fairly easy since I am chatty): my internet use, shopping, fashion, les Americains et, for that matter, the consumerism of the citizens of the world, box stores, box restaurants, children expecting expensive EVERYTHING, the interference of religion (#1) in our schools and being a parent who sticks by her (in my case, not his) 'guns' regarding not allowing her (me again)son to sing religious songs in public school....blah blah,people, especially politians (#2) forcing their views and 'morality' upon the rest of us, while never defining their own (#1 again), then the fact that Americans are so uptight about alcohol, etc; moving back to education with his comment about overhearing a teacher needing Brazilian music for the soccer team, but could not buy offered CD because of the hint of woman's cleavage on the cover( ...moving to #3)

At this point, I finally broke the steady conversation stream to say that, while it was delightful to get a chance to chat, I really did have to get back to my "random surfing online, ebay checking, email checking, general wasting time", but I used the phrase "work".

Quelle dommage!"
"Tu parle en Francais?"
"Oui, je parle en Francais, mais en peu; pas beaucoup."
"Ah, you have a beautiful accent, though! What are you doing this weekend Care to run off to Provence, drink vin et mange sur les pommes de terre et pheasant avec moi?" (OK, I tossed in that last sentence; I have a vivid imagination!)
"Oh, I need to get the graphic interface drafts done this contract for a Sunday afternoon meeting (completely true! I never lie....oops, but it really is true, this time.)

He said: "Not even a half for lunch?" (who only takes 30 minutes??)

I am SO unsmooth! I tried to get out of it, feigning total committment to this project, etc. It didn't fly. Anyway, now I have to meet this person tomorrow at the Town Center for our half hour lunch, which is impossible ANYWHERE there, except for Lee's Ice Cream or Ben and Jerrys, and that isn't lunch. Anyway, we aren't meeting at either of those places. I see this turning into a couple of hours. C'est vrai: quelle dommage pour moi! Je suis tres pathétique!

Hmmmm.....what to wear to prevent the discussion of #3.... high collar, sneakers, torn jeans, porcupine quills, oh just GREAT!! "Fashion? Sure, I love to shop ebay for expensive shoes and dresses, but the chastity belt I now wear was the BEST deal! $49.95 with $9 shipping." Je suis une cretin! Why did I have to break my wireless card in the first place necessitating this visit to Greenberry's!

...and, for your entertainment, because my unfortunate situation is quite insufficient, you can learn some key French phrases ( I just found this site when trying to find the proper spelling for 'dacors', which I never did find):
http://yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au/~mongoose/french/phrases.html

Examples:
Greetings
"You've put on weight"
"Tu as grossi"(tu ah gro - si)

"Haven't the police found you yet?"
"La police, ne t'a pas encore trouvé?"(la po - lees ne ta pa zen - cor troo - vay)

General chit-chat
"Reality and you don't get on, do they?"
"Le réalité et toi, vous ne vous entendez pas, n'est-ce pas?"(le ree - al - ee - tay eh twa voo ne voo zen - ten - day pah nes pah)

And so far my favorite:
Helping Others
"I'd help you, but I don't like you."
"Je vous aurais bien aide, mais je ne vous aime pas."(zhe voo zaw - ray bien ai - de may zhe ne voo zaim - e pah)

This snow blows!

This isn't the pretty stuff that you see on post cards from New England; this is the stuff that coats your car in a pebbly frost that is tough to scrap off with your freakin' Williams Sonoma rubber spatula that you have to use, possibly destroy, because it has been so long since you needed to use an ice scraper that you don't know where it is. (Don't mention the obvious option of the car, because I already checked there) Anyway, I am driving the Rodeo anyway. I just did a couple of donuts in the parking lot at the CVS/Giant; fun stuff! Hey, it is late at night and there were only three cars there.

Back to my rant...
this is the icy stuff that makes school close and your kid complain when you get him up at 10 that there is no reason to get up, then you remind him of the litterbox and the vacuum cleaner and he REALLY complains. [sigh] I guess he didn't want any reasons. SO, tonight, I stopped at Giant to get blueberry pancake makings and sausage. Hopefully, he'll rise in a nicer mood and jump at the chance to do a little drywall sanding....ya think?

Separate topic:
I am excited because I got a call today from an ex-coworker (two co-workers, but this story is about the first)

John was the best manager to work for. In case you don't know, I am a graphic artist/web developer. In the corporate scene, I basically work for EVERYONE there; I jump from project to project, website, marketing materials, tradeshow, intranet, brochures, new business card designs, proposals and logos (has anyone ever heard of BRANDING? They had four versions of the logo floating around and when I say "Pantone" they all look at me funny) SO, I would be working with at least two or three managers at any given time.

John called because he, now working for a consulting firm for digital asset management will be proposing a new system to the Toronto Police Department and needs a business concept, marketing management, peripherals and related graphics. Yawn, yes, I know...to you. But I am thrilled! I actually enjoy contract work because it allows freedom to take a week, month, whatever off. BUT, when on contract, I work like a maniac: 20+ consecutive hours. Not much different than working on a couple of proposals and the Henry Stewart government tradeshow this past October through December. I am lucky that my brain was functioning enough to allow me to convert oxygen to CO2 after working 30, then 20, then 36 hours straight, with less than 8 hour breaks between, which included sleep time!

It is just great to get to work with John and Geoff (who also quick TT)

I also got a call from my ex-assistant. She got the word today that she has been expecting for weeks...the word=budget cuts (two words, yes...picky picky) She seems upbeat about it, though. I promised to format her resume in html so it looks good posted on CraigsList.