Before I start this story, let me relay that as I was coming in to work the pianist (we don't have a muzak, we have selection of live humans who play either a harp or the grand piano in the lobby) was playing "High Hopes". If you know the words to the song, you'll understand the humor.Last night, I was out for a few hours. Upon arriving home, I was ravenous. I broiled (I don't have a toaster and don't want one) a few pieces of English raisin toasting bread. Instead of my usual SmartBalance, I opted for butter, but it was hard as I had just taken it from the fridge. I opened the microwave to soften it for about 10 seconds. Inside, was an ant. For the purpose of this story, I'll call him Nuke.
I wondered: "what would happen to Nuke if I go ahead and microwave my butter for 10 seconds?". Two buttons later and the test was ON. Open microwave door; ant is walking slightly erratic and butter isn't soft enough. Two buttons pressed again; I open the door and this insect is walking in circles and VIBRATING! (Sorry, buddy, you shouldn't have been in my microwave and caught me on a mean day) So, Nuke hasn't exploded or stopped moving (where I would assume he is dead or napping), so I give it another 20 seconds (without the butter). I open the door to find that Nuke has made his way under the edge of the door and on his way out! Scary! No, not that I am frying insects in my small appliances but that there is enough space for an ant to get out. And if there is enough space for the ant to get out, there is enough space for micro (read "little tiny") waves to get out as well.
The moral of this story is: do NOT stand close to the microwave while it is on.
Oh, another moral: and don't get into Stacey's microwave or she may turn you into part of a freakish science experiment! (Bear in mind that I am more likely to catch a bee, spider, etc and put it outside, but ants in springtime are too prolific and I cannot keep up.)
So, what happened to Nuke? I watched him stumble around a little, buttered my bread and ate it while reading the local paper. I didn't squish him. I figure that he had had enough and deserved a break. I am nice like that. :)
